Life is funny, interesting, and most of all you live and you learn. Well, this past experience with another failed relationship with a girl well, is definitely was a learning experience. This girl and I was on and off again from Feb. 3,2010- Jan. 25,2010 but we kept in touch even when we wasn't together. After the first girl broke my heart I didn't think I could love any harder than I did. Well, I was wrong because I loved the living hell out this girl only for it to come back and bite me in the ass big time!
My Friends, well at that time told me I was stupid for going out with her and I saw where he was coming from but, at the time I was blinded by her beauty. This girl was very pretty, and in the beginning everything was pretty good. I was happy, she was happy everything was good. My friends would ask me how I got with a dime like her and to be honest I really didn't know, I was just happy she was mine. It was long distance because in Spring 2010, she went to Florida A&M and I was at Florida Atlantic University. I knew I was going to FAMU in the fall anyway so I figured if I could just wait it out until then everything would be fine.
The problems started to begin around spring break March 4-13 2010. The deal was for spring break was she had family out in Atlanta, Georgia and I had family in Georgia. They were in Marietta and Atlanta so I flew out there to see her and also see my family. Well, when I got there she was a no show. I was pissed for a number of reasons:
1.) I spent money to fly out to my family but to also see her, she was kinda the main reason I flew out there and I HATE WASTING MONEY!!!
2.) We were friends for a little while and I never fell so fast in my life, didn't love at the moment but I liked her a lot if she wanted my virginity damn, it was in her hands like silly putty.
3.) I wanted to spend time with my girl
4.) She waits until that Friday to tell me she ain't there. NO SHIT!!! What really made me mad is she had the audacity to tell me Friday and not just be straight up with it.
5.) Her excuse didn't add up. She said her brothers got shot, but I'm sure if they would have got shot I would have heard about it on the news. Marietta is only like 30-40 minuets from Atlanta and c'mon Atlanta rules everything in a 30- 1 hour radius. Not saying it couldn't have happened but I didn't believe her.
After that no-show things weren't the same. I should have just broke it off then right? Yea, I know I should have but damnit, I did. Why, I have no idea... maybe because I liked her so much I was willing to give her another chance, so I did. In retrospect, I should have just told her it's over then because it only got worse. You figured after she stood me up, she would get on her shit right, would come see me considering she had an apartment in Miami and FAU was only 40 minuets from Miami right? WRONG! She ain't do not a damn thing. Then she was going through some stuff and decided not to talk to me for 2 months. (We went April and May without talking and she hit me up like 3 days before her b-day June 5th) I damn sure should have ended it there but once again I didn't.. I was mad as hell tried to forget about her but, when she hit me up.. I came right back because it was summer time and that meant we would be at the same school in a short time period. At that point we had broken up, and I had got with a couple of other girls, that really didn't last that long but we stayed in touch. Then she drops the 3 letter word on me "I Love You" personally I didn't believe it because I ain't talk to her in like 2 months and now all of a sudden you love I wasn't buying it but, I knew what I felt for her was stronger than I thought because otherwise I wouldn't put up with is non-sense but it gets better.
So, I get accepted to Florida A&M around June and when I told her I knew we had a problem because she kept avoiding the subject and I'm like damn she this don't feel good, look good, or sound good. I was right because she said she had missed her family and wanted to go back up to Atlanta... but, just spring break you part of the reason why you left was because they were working your nerves. I'm not a selfish guy though I told her go see her family and she said I'm coming back to Florida so she made it seem like she was just going to take a year off and come back to FAMU, once again I was fooled.
By, this time I had fell in love with her but was with someone else but, we ended up breaking up after my birthday with brings me to this point she didn't even say Happy Birthday. Shake my head.
So, around October I found out that she went to Clark Atlanta University. She said she didn't plan to go to Clark Atlanta but there's no way in hell you apply in late June early July and get in. She had to know she wanted to leave and just decide to give me the okie doke. She could have just told me flat out. I should have been done with her then but, for some reason I couldn't. Thanksgiving comes along, after my ride bailed on me I asked her to come pick me up and she talking bout gas money! GAS MONEY, GAS MONEY NIGGA??.. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME... LET'S BACK THAT UP... SHE SAID GAS MONEY!. I wanted to snap Gas Money what about the $300 I spent that I wouldn't had spent if we would of just stuck to our original spring break plans which was to go all the beaches in Florida. That to me was the final straw so I broke up with her which I thought was for good. The girl, I was going to get with well that didn't work out and I knew I wasn't going to get a girl at Florida A&M so, I stayed in touch with her.
After a while though, I started to realize she started to get real stuck up it's like we just kept going in circles. We would have our bad times, and then have a brief moment of good times and it went back to bad times. It was an on going circle that shit, never ended. So, during the new year I decided if we were ever going to work out I had to lay down the law. I told her exactly what needed to change, this relationship was going to be 50/50 (because it was 100% all me before), told her this was not going to be a talk to me when you feel like it I was tired of that, she would have to call me more, actually make an effort, and come see me because she never once said Taroy, Imma come see you. Basically I told her it was my way or the highway. She told me stop bitching and that If I keep bitching she won't come see me. She said she had to check her schedule and if she wasn't busy she would come see me. What the FUCK!!! Like, I figured I would come first especially all the shit I put up with. I snapped after that, this was the biggest argument I ever had with her I definitely saw the BITCH come out of her that day. Selfish, Arrogant, Conceited, Stuck up Bitch is what she was that day. She said she can't help it, and even if all of her previous boyfriends let her get away with that shit I wasn't. She said she loved me but I highly doubt that you don't put the one you love through all that bullshit. It go so bad her mom had to calm me down saying Imma talk to her. That was on January 3, 2010. It's been 22 days later and I still haven't talked to her ass and I don't care no more. It's time to let the grieving process begin. For the 2nd time when I loved someone and we broke up I got no closure. I was hoping we could work it out but, I knew it probably wasn't going to happen. All the energy that I spent down the drain. All my friends after the argument literally started to hate her, asked me why I am still with her but, only one friend knew my pain. "Love makes you do some crazy things." Thats what my friend said and shit, It's so true.
There's a lot of questions that I want answers too, that I didn't get and probably will never get, I never understood how you can love someone and then grow to hate them but, I see because that's what probably will happen. I tried to be there for her tried to be the best boyfriend to my ability and she didn't even care well least didn't show it. Don't get hurt a lot but, this shit hurts because at one point, I really thought I was going to marry her. Shit, I'm starting to wish I never met her. Wrote least four-five songs about her ungrateful ass but, there was a lesson learned from this. What is the lesson well shit, I don't know exactly but, I'll figure it out. I won't ever put up that much shit again in my life best believe that. She says her last boyfriend before me cheated on her and if she acted like that I could see why.. I know it's wrong but not a lot of niggas would put up with what I put up with. To think I saw the potential of you actually changing. I had picked out the engagement ring and was in the process of saving. Like my friend told me what a shitty way to learn a lesson in a year. Waste of year that's how I am going to look at it. I'm not even gonna lie shit hurt.
So, RaKya Hudson, I hope you find the right guy for you cause it definitely wasn't me, I hope you stop being conceited and all before it's too late. I gave you chance after chance to no avail. Took me a while but, I see you was just playing me. Shake my head, I was stupid for giving you chance after chance but, It's life, shit happens. I just hope you change your ways.
HAVE A GOOD LIFE
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Florida A&M Experience (Through the Fall 2010 Semester)
So Far my Florida A&M Experience has not been what I thought it would be. Coming from a guy who isn't the most fashionable guy in the world I feel like an outsider somewhat and I'm ok with that. I knew black people were more fashionable but damn this is getting out of hand. It's like a damn fashion show. The character should make the person not the clothes. Some people at Florida A&M are like just way into fashion like it's apart of them. I see nothing wrong with wearing sweatpants. Ok, maybe I wear them 3-4 days out the week but, when I'm cold I am going to wear something comfortable. I rather be comfortable and warm then cute and cold.
Coming from two different colleges before I transferred to FAMU I realized some people were like relationship oriented and that's what I am. Now, that I'm at FAMU and had a chance to observe people just about nobody is relationship oriented. Not even no where near it, it's just if you aren't down with having sex or calling each other "Boo" or "Babe" and not even be committed then you are going to feel like an outsider. I really think very few people at FAMU knows what the relationship actually means. Sad, but true. I don't get the whole playing games with each other. I never played games, and never intend to play games so, therefore I see playing games is pointless if you ask me. I don't think all people at Florida A&M are like that but I believe most are.
I knew once I got my acceptance letter it was going to be a different culture. Especially considering I never been around this large amount of black people in my life. I knew it was a party school and I'm not the party type but damn these people party here 24/7 like it's a religion or something. Find me a girl at Florida A&M wait..... let me REPHRASE THAT! A cute girl, who good values who doesn't party at Florida A&M and I'll talk to her ASAP! lol... These FAMU students love their clubs that much is evident.
The school work at FAMU is something I definitely was not prepared for. I was used to just studying for tests and calling it a day but J School (School of Journalism and Graphic Communication) is no joke! My first semester was horrible. I never had a semester like that in my life. Trust me It will be my first and my last semester that my grades will be that poorly. I must do better. Everything wasn't so bad, I just had to get accustomed and adjusted to the workload and I also was writing for the school newspaper doing the sports section. That right there is no joke, but I gained very good experience. I had my up's and down's with the newspaper but I'm better for it. At least 25 plus articles under my belt and I'm only going to get better. Covering the Florida A&M Lady Rattlers Women Volleyball Team was time consuming at times but I wouldn't trade that in for the world. I'm excited to get back to covering them in August. I hope soon to have my own sports radio show or something of that sort. Some of my closest friendships are from the Sports Section of the newspaper staff. I don't have many friends but, I need to be more sociable as well. It's a two way street that Im ready to venture out on and meet new people.
I think I have it narrowed down, a lot of people call me a NERD and I'm fine with that, I just need a girl that will be able to like me for me...so, I hope to find that girl at FAMU because hope is bleak but it's not all gone but we'll see untill then I will leave you with my favorite shirt I brought just recently and it fits who I am so well.
Coming from two different colleges before I transferred to FAMU I realized some people were like relationship oriented and that's what I am. Now, that I'm at FAMU and had a chance to observe people just about nobody is relationship oriented. Not even no where near it, it's just if you aren't down with having sex or calling each other "Boo" or "Babe" and not even be committed then you are going to feel like an outsider. I really think very few people at FAMU knows what the relationship actually means. Sad, but true. I don't get the whole playing games with each other. I never played games, and never intend to play games so, therefore I see playing games is pointless if you ask me. I don't think all people at Florida A&M are like that but I believe most are.
I knew once I got my acceptance letter it was going to be a different culture. Especially considering I never been around this large amount of black people in my life. I knew it was a party school and I'm not the party type but damn these people party here 24/7 like it's a religion or something. Find me a girl at Florida A&M wait..... let me REPHRASE THAT! A cute girl, who good values who doesn't party at Florida A&M and I'll talk to her ASAP! lol... These FAMU students love their clubs that much is evident.
The school work at FAMU is something I definitely was not prepared for. I was used to just studying for tests and calling it a day but J School (School of Journalism and Graphic Communication) is no joke! My first semester was horrible. I never had a semester like that in my life. Trust me It will be my first and my last semester that my grades will be that poorly. I must do better. Everything wasn't so bad, I just had to get accustomed and adjusted to the workload and I also was writing for the school newspaper doing the sports section. That right there is no joke, but I gained very good experience. I had my up's and down's with the newspaper but I'm better for it. At least 25 plus articles under my belt and I'm only going to get better. Covering the Florida A&M Lady Rattlers Women Volleyball Team was time consuming at times but I wouldn't trade that in for the world. I'm excited to get back to covering them in August. I hope soon to have my own sports radio show or something of that sort. Some of my closest friendships are from the Sports Section of the newspaper staff. I don't have many friends but, I need to be more sociable as well. It's a two way street that Im ready to venture out on and meet new people.
I think I have it narrowed down, a lot of people call me a NERD and I'm fine with that, I just need a girl that will be able to like me for me...so, I hope to find that girl at FAMU because hope is bleak but it's not all gone but we'll see untill then I will leave you with my favorite shirt I brought just recently and it fits who I am so well.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I didn't understand until now and it makes perfect sense
You ever lose that one person you didn't want to lose? Well, I just did.. didn't think it would happen for the sake of her privacy I wont reveal her name. But, I never knew how she felt until now. For most of my life relationships haven't been a strong point in my life. I had been able to communicate but, not like I wanted too and just about all the girlfriends I had communication was lacking. Then she came along, it was different with her. Looking back on it now we should have just stayed friends. I don't regret a lot of stuff but I regret that decision. Now, when every girlfriend I had broke up with me it has been through text and I never found anything wrong with that. When I broke up with her through text though it hit a nerve with her. She found it "rude", "disrespectful", and "not classy", she felt I should have had the decency to call her. Thats my fault but I never knew it was or she felt like that because all she told me was I could have went about it differently. Then every time we argued I wouldn't call her but every time except one, I couldn't call her. I was preoccupied, but it makes sense, she said I go on and on about communication but "I suck at it". I thought about it she has some truth to it, but I just go by off what has happened to me in the past and that's probably not the best thing. She said I changed for the worst, didn't see it that way, but I'm deeply sorry for ever hurting you or making you feel that way. I never acknowledged it because I never thought of it as disrespectful or rude but, I now know. Sometimes it takes losing the person you didn't want to lose to better yourself. So, I'm sorry but I want to thank you at the same time for opening my eyes. I will get better and when I do I kinda owe half of it to you. So, with that being said take care of ya self hope you end up being what you wanted to be and I'll still pray for you. God Bless, be safe.
Never Understanding Women
Since, the beginning of time women have been humans we have not been able to understand. That trend continues to stand tall in my generation as well. I will never understand them and I really don't want to in all honesty. They make no sense to me and probably most men agree with me as well. This week has just proven that they are a mystery and only one person knows the answer. That is the the one who created us all, God. I can't live with them and can't live without them.
Now, women are so damn complicated they say one thing but they expect us to do another. They blame guys for there's no good guys around but truth is in my generation there aren't a lot of good girls around either. Most of them are jump-offs, hoes, or they just have no respect for themselves and don't have there shit together. Also, I learned a lot from August till now. Some women don't take criticism well, some can't go from being your girl to being one of your good friends, and some don't take rejection well. I guess this experience is good for me because until now most of my home girls are like me, so with that being said I'M STILL NOT CHANGING WHO I AM! I REFUSE TO, I WON'T, I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH MY MOUTH!
Sorry, but if your kitchen is dirty, I think you need to know I would expect you to do the same for me. If I think you look a little jacked up, I am going to tell you and I would expect you to do the same for me. I can be the nicest guy in the world and no, I'm not perfect but I treat girls right. The way a real gentleman is supposed too (most of the time) but, that isn't good enough no more. Shake my head, Shake my head. Why girls go for the girl that they know is not right for them? I have no clue that is a mystery that I will never understand. You want us to respect you but, you giving it up on the first night, niggas go through you more than they go through a drive way. Sorry, I'm a virgin and I would have a hard time respecting you. There aren't a lot of good guys left but I'm trying to hold on to this being respectful but it's like most the time when you respect some women they rather get disrespected. Why? I don't know. Kind of amusing at times. lol. There's only so much a nice guy can take before you make him cold-hearted and I'm getting to that point. I never cheated or laid hands on a woman but they be wanting nothing to do with me after we break up like I did cheat or put my hands on them. If that's the case I should have cheated. Shake My Head.
When it comes to girls and relationships I'm clueless. I have tried to be nice and most of them say "Aww you're the sweetest guy I've ever known" but when it comes to one big argument that's it. Now last relationship was my fault. Girls assume way too much as if you still want to be their friend after we are longer a couple as we trying to control you or me not wanting you to move on. Hate to bust your bubble but in my case thats not the point. If I care about you and we didn't have a bad break up there's a good chance a very high percentage I am going to still care about you. You're going to be probably one of my close friends so therefore I am going to ask you questions that a close friend would ask and if you can't handle that then just don't be my friend point, blank, simple, period.
When I get to heaven I want to ask God why he made women so difficult. Until then my time here is done.
Now, women are so damn complicated they say one thing but they expect us to do another. They blame guys for there's no good guys around but truth is in my generation there aren't a lot of good girls around either. Most of them are jump-offs, hoes, or they just have no respect for themselves and don't have there shit together. Also, I learned a lot from August till now. Some women don't take criticism well, some can't go from being your girl to being one of your good friends, and some don't take rejection well. I guess this experience is good for me because until now most of my home girls are like me, so with that being said I'M STILL NOT CHANGING WHO I AM! I REFUSE TO, I WON'T, I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH MY MOUTH!
Sorry, but if your kitchen is dirty, I think you need to know I would expect you to do the same for me. If I think you look a little jacked up, I am going to tell you and I would expect you to do the same for me. I can be the nicest guy in the world and no, I'm not perfect but I treat girls right. The way a real gentleman is supposed too (most of the time) but, that isn't good enough no more. Shake my head, Shake my head. Why girls go for the girl that they know is not right for them? I have no clue that is a mystery that I will never understand. You want us to respect you but, you giving it up on the first night, niggas go through you more than they go through a drive way. Sorry, I'm a virgin and I would have a hard time respecting you. There aren't a lot of good guys left but I'm trying to hold on to this being respectful but it's like most the time when you respect some women they rather get disrespected. Why? I don't know. Kind of amusing at times. lol. There's only so much a nice guy can take before you make him cold-hearted and I'm getting to that point. I never cheated or laid hands on a woman but they be wanting nothing to do with me after we break up like I did cheat or put my hands on them. If that's the case I should have cheated. Shake My Head.
When it comes to girls and relationships I'm clueless. I have tried to be nice and most of them say "Aww you're the sweetest guy I've ever known" but when it comes to one big argument that's it. Now last relationship was my fault. Girls assume way too much as if you still want to be their friend after we are longer a couple as we trying to control you or me not wanting you to move on. Hate to bust your bubble but in my case thats not the point. If I care about you and we didn't have a bad break up there's a good chance a very high percentage I am going to still care about you. You're going to be probably one of my close friends so therefore I am going to ask you questions that a close friend would ask and if you can't handle that then just don't be my friend point, blank, simple, period.
When I get to heaven I want to ask God why he made women so difficult. Until then my time here is done.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Guys who have no respect for girls
So, I happen to come across this video and all I could do is shake my head as to what is wrong with men with these days.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh6y42Q2fD646F6kvZ
There are two things wrong with this picture:
1.) Personally I don't think the girl should be wearing a dress that low cut to begin with, then on top of that to not have no panties, thong, g-string, underwear, no nothing on is a problem. Now ladies if you feel different please let me know but she should have know better than to wear that. Sometimes the stuff girls go out with is ridiculous. Ladies should dress with class not dressing to get attention if all a guy sees is breast and booty that's what he going to go after. No offense ladies but if you dress like a hoe than a guy is going to think I can bag her or I can hit without even caring about how you feel. I feel like some girls that dress like that are insecure about how they look. Maybe, they dress like that because without it they feel they wouldn't get no attention?? I don't know what the case may be, but to me personally a girl who dresses like that is not appealing to me at all all I could is shake my head.
Now, I may be wrong but if she was wearing something more "lady-like" than I think her chances of that happening to her is a 97%.
2.) The guy is a flat out jackass! What possessed him to do that? I wish I knew the answer but I do know he was way out of line with that. It's guys like that that give us good men a bad rap. Real talk. Like, that is like a hell-no. Real men don't do anything of that nature! Then the other guy who encouraged him to do that should be ashamed of himself like real talk. SMDH at these fools, this is wrong with our young men these days. It happens a lot of times maybe not as bold as that fool was grabbing on girl's booties without their permission, forcing a girl to dance with you at a club (well, least attempting too), and etc. Like, if she says NO fellas then what she means no. But, in this case he was definitely in the wrong. He was so wrong, then when she came at him he decked her. That right there is flat out ignorance! Not only do you lift up her skirt not once but TWICE then he had the nerve to deck her. There is something seriously wrong with our generation and it needs to stop because the number of good wholesome black men are decreasing by the second and it seems like no one has the urgency to try to save our youth.
Lastly, their both at fault she is asking for trouble wearing that dress and asking for unwanted attention is showing no class and he has no respect at all. It really does sadden me to see this is our generation. This could possibly be our future men and women.
We need to change this ASAP!
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh6y42Q2fD646F6kvZ
There are two things wrong with this picture:
1.) Personally I don't think the girl should be wearing a dress that low cut to begin with, then on top of that to not have no panties, thong, g-string, underwear, no nothing on is a problem. Now ladies if you feel different please let me know but she should have know better than to wear that. Sometimes the stuff girls go out with is ridiculous. Ladies should dress with class not dressing to get attention if all a guy sees is breast and booty that's what he going to go after. No offense ladies but if you dress like a hoe than a guy is going to think I can bag her or I can hit without even caring about how you feel. I feel like some girls that dress like that are insecure about how they look. Maybe, they dress like that because without it they feel they wouldn't get no attention?? I don't know what the case may be, but to me personally a girl who dresses like that is not appealing to me at all all I could is shake my head.
Now, I may be wrong but if she was wearing something more "lady-like" than I think her chances of that happening to her is a 97%.
2.) The guy is a flat out jackass! What possessed him to do that? I wish I knew the answer but I do know he was way out of line with that. It's guys like that that give us good men a bad rap. Real talk. Like, that is like a hell-no. Real men don't do anything of that nature! Then the other guy who encouraged him to do that should be ashamed of himself like real talk. SMDH at these fools, this is wrong with our young men these days. It happens a lot of times maybe not as bold as that fool was grabbing on girl's booties without their permission, forcing a girl to dance with you at a club (well, least attempting too), and etc. Like, if she says NO fellas then what she means no. But, in this case he was definitely in the wrong. He was so wrong, then when she came at him he decked her. That right there is flat out ignorance! Not only do you lift up her skirt not once but TWICE then he had the nerve to deck her. There is something seriously wrong with our generation and it needs to stop because the number of good wholesome black men are decreasing by the second and it seems like no one has the urgency to try to save our youth.
Lastly, their both at fault she is asking for trouble wearing that dress and asking for unwanted attention is showing no class and he has no respect at all. It really does sadden me to see this is our generation. This could possibly be our future men and women.
We need to change this ASAP!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)